If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
