you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
