I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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