lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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