The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
