What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
