I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish you could order shots online.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
