I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He kissed a someone with a penis
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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