i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
