What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
