i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
