he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Randomize
