Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
