My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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