I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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