Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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