Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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