they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
