NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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