awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
