the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
