Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
