I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
