You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
