I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
