I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
