bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I love how my cats smell like pot.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
