Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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