i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
