Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
