omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
