White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
