are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
