thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
