yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
