So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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