he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
