ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
