I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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