Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
