But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
