dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
