Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
