That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
