If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
