So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
