He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ugly people sure do ruin things
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
