I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
