What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
