some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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